Conspiracy

Last night, when Ruby woke me up by whining in my face because her covers fell off, I nearly lost it ALL the way. I got up for the countless time to silence the whining, to cover her up. Of all the whining in the night, hers is the easiest to stop- but WHY why why oh why am I getting up at night to swaddle the dog?

How has this happened? That my dog has trained me to wake up at night and cover her up?

Last night sucked all around for creatures getting to sleep. H and S were having a competition to see whose cry would be the one to break me. I was getting in that quiet prickly place where I stand very still in the living room and hope no one is looking through the windows in case I look as psychotic as I feel. After HOURS of H screaming that she wants to go in 'mommydaddy' bed, and S screaming because she wants me to hold her until shes fallen asleep (and how did THAT happen? That my child who has always gone to sleep on her own has trained me to hold her until she falls fast asleep? Don't even ask why I started the no mommydaddy bed thing- is it that big of a deal? I just want my bed. they've taken the rest.)

No! I wasn't having any of it. They would just have to scream and cry, I said. 45 minutes later I was hoping the neighbors hadn't called child services. It sounded so pathetic in here, sobs of MOM! MooooooMMMMEEEEE!!!

And the manipulation! H says "Mom, if you want me to stop crying, put me in mommydaddy bed." Well hells no, after that. I go into S who stops crying when I pick her up (which I wasn't going to do) and then points firmly to the rocking chair. I'd had it with both of them.

I called J who was working late, I haven't done this since H was a baby, but I needed him to come home because I was thinking horrid thoughts I won't even bring back into my head now.

J gets home, I had goddammit held S and she was asleep arg arg arg, H was still going strong. J's up there for 3 minutes at the most, comes down- all is silent. I asked what he said to her. "Oh, I put her in our bed."

Well. Why didn't I think of that.

I was too far gone at that point. I briefly considered going up and putting her back in her bed- but the silence was so nice, and I was too tired. She'd out stubborned me.

This morning, the first thing H said when she opened her eyes, "Mommy? last night? When you were downstairs? Daddy put me in mommydaddy bed" Yes, I say, I know he did. I thought I should say something else, but didn't know what it should be- so we dropped it.

So, in conclusion, I'm a huge pushover. When the dog whines for covers, it seems like a small price to pay. She goes back to sleep and doesn't sass me in the morning. But this is how it starts.