Thursday, January 22, 2009

The dentist

About ten minutes until the dominoes start falling: Pick up H at school, drive to gymnastics, after which drop the girls off at J's studio so I can go across the street to the dentist.

I like MY dentist, but hate going to the dentist. There was a big long stretch of time where I didn't go to the dentist at all- and now I will pay forever. I am on a need to know basis at the dentist. I am only told what I can handle, what has to be done immediately. I am fine with that. I would probably never go back if I knew the big picture of what has to happen inside my mouth.

Part of the reason I like my dentist is that when I finally went to see him, after not seeing another of his kind in, oh, 10 years or so, he didn't give me any shit. There was no attitude or any making faces at my teeth. He just said gently, "Well. You're here now." I tuned out the KA-CHING I heard echoing in his head at the sight of my mouth. I have horrible teeth. They chip on nothing for no reason, they're yellow no matter what kind of whitening I attempt, they're crooked. I'm told they have shallow roots. My dentist in Mexico decided to seal some of my teeth I guess to protect them, but he used a bright orange sealant so it always looks like I just ate cheetos. Very festive indeed.

The other part of why I like my dentist is that he's also an inventor. I can't tell you his ideas, I don't know about his patent situation- but he has some crazy ideas. He wears a mickey mouse watch, he had the craziest caterpillar mustache, but J has his appointment the other day and reports that the stache is no more. He talks about how the later seasons of the Sopranos weren't violent enough while holding sharp dental instruments in my mouth. His staff is all women- I don't know how he pulls this off with out seeming creepy. And that goes for the mustache, too.

Now how about this: My gums started bleeding this morning and haven't really let up. I can only think this doesn't bode well for my bank account, or my teeth.

When J had his dental appointment last week, he said the dentists and hygienists gathered around him and gushed about how fabulous his teeth were. I believed the word 'dynamite' was used. During my appointment I heard "Oh..I don't like this at all. This isn't good. If its still like this in a week you need to come back."

And he looks much better without the mustache.

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