If having water for dinner for the next year meant I wouldn't have to go grocery shopping with S again, I'd do it. I suppose that is what it would mean, but it would be cruel to not feed my children simply because I think I my fragile sanity will shatter into a thousand tiny shards if I have a repeat performance of this mornings shopping trip.
Its not that the store behavior is any different, but how I'm able to handle it is. There is always the refusal to stay in the cart. I do ridiculous things like decide (and here I picture myself in a crown with a staff) Today... we will not be snacking while shopping. I...have...spoken....The deli lady gives S cheese. 2 pieces. It lasts one aisle. Today she wanted the rest of the cheese, and was trying to jump out the cart to get it. There is no belt that will contain this child, shes like houdini. There was screaming, head bashing, floor lying, feet kicking. I maneuvered us all the way across the store to the bagel bin, tore one in half, half to feed the monster and half to show to the cashier to prove that I am not stealing bagels, despite my desperation. S was appeased. I had store staff coming up to me for the rest of the time I was there saying "Oh! She was just hungry!" No. No she was not hungry. She was pissed because she was not getting her way. Oh the long and winding tangled web of a road we have ahead.
I gave into the eating in the store. I brought out the pacifier. I said no walking. I said no walking with the bagel. I said, ok you can walk with the bagel.
She won the battle, but I'll win the war. I will.