Octopus rodeo

I am an octopus up in here. Reaching out to everyone. I'm on a roll. Got a group? I'll join it. Got a job? I'll take it.

I'm having my own daily Stuart Smalley affirmation, I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it people like me.

OOOOhhhhh but it makes me feel like an idiot.
Mental slap!
You are not an idiot! Rock on!
You are SUCH an idiot.
I'm good enough...
moron
Smart enough...
oh really? you think so?

Ugh- I'm feeling desperate. Feeling hopeful and able at the same time paralysed and useless. How can one person feel all these contrasting things at the same time???

I'm on the verge of transformation, so says me. I always get a little wacky and internally chatty with myself when I'm on the cusp of changing things up.

Deciding. I am deciding. I don't know what I'm deciding, but it will be a good decision.

I am grappling for the reins, polishing up my spurs, prying off my blinders, and groping flailing reaching out with octopus arms.