In Progress

Some beginning stages of the 20x20 piece for the Mamacita (W)Holon show.
I'm down to the wire as always, up against the deadline- but that's how I roll.

This piece ventures further into the block as finished piece concept that began with the 4x4 holons for this show. It feels a little strange to post these stages with out having finishing - A little like that dream where you're in school and realize you forgot to put any clothes on.

The sketch

Drawn on wood

Starting the cutting

Detail

Summer Studio

Here we are in the middle of July and I feel I am just starting to get the summer underway. I haven't done work in so long I don't know who I am anymore. I was away for a few days and although things were hardly 'slow' they weren't nearly as fast paced and scattered in all directions as I have become used to. I felt the first glimmer of inspiration which nearly brought me to tears as every time it gets hard I am sure I'll never be inspired again. I get caught up in the running around trying to keep my head above water. I tell myself, my tragic circular flaw, that I can postpone making art- never is a good idea. I know its like eating to me, and I always wonder why I feel like I'm withering when I haven't worked in a while.

With that said, some new goals about spending time in the studio are in place. One day a week when the girls are with my mom- which starts tomorrow- and is a given for studio time. Also H and I will spend the 2 mornings S is in school in the studio. This is not all that productive for me, although I do love to make things with H- but it helps to be in the space and I find I don't get to the studio nearly enough. I may have mentioned in the past how insane what I let pass as being productive these days. Coffee and the newspaper? Productive if I'm in the studio. I will need to edit what passes for productivity- but for now I'm sticking to it. Next goal will be the night time studio hours, but I need to be immersed in something for that to happen. I am hoping to be immersed soon. (Does anyone else make goals to have goals? Perhaps this is part of the problem)

Anyway- as usual, H had a quite productive morning in the studio. I got some thinking done here and there, but mostly I was her assistant. She wanted to make a stuffed animal. Yesterday she drew out the pattern and started sewing, today she finished. She did the pattern and all the sewing- chose the eyes and nose. I cut the pattern out (of some fabulous yellow velvet my mother gave me ages ago from her fabric stash) and sewed on the face. (And untangled, re-threaded and patched some holes.) We are both quite thrilled with the outcome- see for yourself.

The block- holon

I am really excited about this show.
Members of Mamacita are contributing artwork done in 4x4 squares to form a larger collaborative piece. The show is titled Holons. A holon is something that is simultaneously a part and a whole.

Here are my 4x4s- I am not used to working this small- it was fun. Kind of addictive. I decided to treat the block as the finished piece this time- I always love the block which kind of takes a back seat to the printed paper usually. I like taking the block out from behind the scenes.

S makes a print

I have been stuck. For what seems like forever.
Someones working- these pictures light up my soul in a way that can only be as corny as it sounds. The very best part is that I swear up and down I didn't put her up to this. She said she wanted to go to the tude tude (whenever S uses her word for studio, I get "going to a go-go" in my head and have to answer her with a Mich Jaggar-esque "Every-bo-tay..") She wanted to "Roll. Right there." And I lived vicariously through her printing. The whole thing was done in about 5 minutes- but it was a good five minutes..

She draws.

She rolls.

She rolls some more.

She contemplates.

She contemplates some more.

She uses the barren... (printing on the back of a print of mine)

A print. Is that beautiful or what?

We are the world

The first few snow days, H and I made this people world. H, J , S and I had been designing people- (and animals, I can't help it). My plan was to make a bunch of characters and do a puppet show, and expand my video capabilities- but H had a different plan and wanted to tape them all together. We decided it needed something to mask (ha ha) the giant masking tape center-

"A flower!" H said, then "NO!! The EARTH!!!" And so it was.

A week of snow days

The begining of the rainbow snow mural

Artistic pride

pom pom snow

We've crafted. We've baked. We've had a lot of wine. Well, some of us. H has had one day of school this week- Tuesday. She is off next Monday and Tuesday- so here we have an improptu vacation. I was not ready for this, and we've been snowed in for most of it. I may attempt to venture out today. I may need to, for all of our sanity. Yesterday J and I were out shoveling snow (for 3 hours) our neighbors were laughing, what did you do tie up the kids? No- we left them inside with a pitcher of milk, a box of cereal and Sesame Street. They were outside with us for about 20 minutes, which is S's limit for cold tolerance. Even H was a little over the snow.

Doing

An accomplishment! These gloves sans fingers, fingerless gloves, god forbid gauntlets, whatever you want to call them, took me less that half an hour start to finish (not including felting the sweater, which was done years ago) and they kind of look it- but a finished product! In the land of a thousand started things!

I have been knitting and un-knitting for many evenings in a row now- I thought I'd make something "easy" to limber up my creating muscle- but its been night after night of frustration. The knitting is relaxing for me, ordinarily, but indecision has crept into that as well, and I can't decide what to knit with what yarn and keep starting and stopping. Unraveling. I've been knitting to feel like I'm "doing" since I can't decide what it is I'm "doing" in the studio these days. But my doing isn't working and its making me crazy!

I will still knit a version of these non digit gloves (damn it) but today S napped briefly, and I ran up to the studio, cut haphazardly, stitched haphazardly, and now my hands are warm. Cashmere warm, too. I am hoping this finished product will help with the doing and non-doing.

I am in major...transition.. we'll call it. I am blocked creatively, and am getting too frustrated too quickly. I need some easy inspiration, but my usual sources of inspiration are frustrating me too. I am trying to remind myself that I often feel this way before an artistic breakthrough, but there's that other voice that lives in my head mocking me.

So break through already.

Hummingbird

A portrait of my grandmother- with a hummingbird and a fox.

For whatever reason, I tend to assign animals to my family. Maybe they assign them to themselves, I don't know- my father's nickname growing up was rabbit. (I swear this has nothing to do with my previous rabbit post) His sister always called him that, into adulthood- and he holds on to that nickname to remember her, I believe. The nickname was because he raised rabbits- not because he has big ears or teeth. He doesn't hop.

My aunt, my fathers sister, had a lot of favorite animals, she had dogs, horses, she briefly loved rhinos- but the one that lingered, her animal, was a fox. When she died, the morning of her funeral, I remember looking out the kitchen window at my grandparents house, and seeing a little grey fox just sitting there, for the longest time. My grandmother told me later she saw that fox every day since my aunt died, and she always thought it was her.

My grandmother loved hummingbirds. She would to paint them in water color- and would often call me with questions- the kind of questions you can't answer about someone else's painting but I'd try. She gave me some of her paintings the last time I saw her, including her painting of a hummingbird. After she died, I saw hummingbirds everywhere. There is a hummingbird, or a few, who visit my garden every year- they hover and look me in the eye until it makes me a little uncomfortable- but I always think of my grandmother and wonder.

For the last few weeks at bath time, S has been splashing around in the water saying "I'm a hummingbird!"
The first time she said it I was shocked. "You're a what?"
" A hummingbird.", she said. Miffed that I interrupted her hummingbird splashing.
"A hummingbird."
"Yes."
I have been wracking my brain trying to think of hummingbird books, or a hummingbird that was on a show. Trying to figure out where she's learned about hummingbirds. I asked her teachers if they had mentioned a hummingbird in class. No. I have no idea where this hummingbird thing came from. I'm sure there is a logical explanation- but it does make me smile and tear up a little. My grandmother never met the girls, and I do like the idea of her watching them splash around at bath time like hummingbirds.

Lifted

I had big plans for some studio work this morning- Both H and S in school for a few hours, I was going to do nothing but immerse myself. Except we were out of food, again, so maybe I'd do a quick jaunt to the grocery store. Even though I know there is no such thing. I was almost done with the groceries and my phone rang. It was J with a message from S's school- they called to say "come get your child now because the amount of diarrhea she has been having since the second you dropped her off is spectacular." Last week at school she emptied the contents of her stomach all over the lunch table. I'm sure they're loving her- and me- at the school these days.

All these bodily fluids are putting a cramp in my creativity. So I decided to bake bread. What I really wanted to do which is dye yarn, but I am not allowing myself to pursue that at the moment. I need a new craft like a hole in the head, I haven't begun to knit through the surface of my yarn hoard. Bread I can allow myself.

While the bread was rising, I suggested to S that we go up to my studio and paint. She was game, as always when it comes to painting. We went up, I got her set up- assured her five times that it wasn't really that the white wasn't working, just that its hard to see on white paper. Maybe she should use orange. It worked, today, there have been many flip outs as a result of the white not showing up. Yes, I've used multiple colored paper- she wants to see the white on the white.

I sat down with a scrap piece of rives BFK and some black ink- the closest things at hand. I brushed a line on the paper- and it lifted something in me. I have had this revelation so many times in my life- how I can possibly forget it as often as I do astounds me. This is the pull to the studio- I need to do work so I can live with myself. I am guilty of repeatedly trying to understand the why of it, and telling myself I don't really need it.

S and I were only in the studio for about 15 minutes. She needed scissors, which were downstairs. She paints and then cuts her painting apart into tiny pieces then tapes them all to the wall. I'm working on getting her to collage her pieces, mainly to contain the scraps of paper. Its a colorful hamster cage around here. It was a great 15 minutes. Tomorrow we'll try again, with scissors.

Stuck

Its raining. There are things I want to print. There are things I want to knit.

I am instead being whipped in the face by a monkey blanket and peed all over by S who is trying to remember to use the potty but too busy elbowing me in the ribs to remember. She rolls on me, causing typos, knocking everything over. Demanding a band aid every time she bumps herself. There aren't enough bandaids in the world for this.

There are meatballs are in the oven for lunch- S's idea-" I want a meatball in my HAND", she said. They're taking some time to cook- she asked indignantly "What those meatballs DOIN in there?"

I sit- frustrated, hating myself for complaining, but wanting a studio day.

S pulls her chair up to a giant water bottle- her car. Tells me "goodbye, I'm going to my tude-tude" (studio)

good luck with that, I say. Lets go have some meatballs.

Maybe we'll go up to my tude tude after lunch.

Multiples

There are few things I enjoy more than a studio overflowing with editioned prints. I had forgotten that. I finished this print (better picture of single print to follow- I'm just so loving the herd of prints right now.)

This print will be part of the Southern Graphic Council portfolio exchange- and will be exhibited (venue to be determined) in March.

I spent the entire day preparing paper, ink, printing. Its been a while... this size, a predetermined 16x20, is much smaller than I usually work, and I usually do tiny editions, 10 tops, but usually 5. This is an edition of 25- It felt great to be back in the saddle.

MamaCita Holiday Party & Show

If you're in the area tomorrow night, stop by:


There will be a lot of great art by a lot of great mamas!

I'll be there with some fused glass jewelry I've been playing around with.

That is a 2 year old hand, by the way, throwing off the scale. The rings are big, but not *that* big!


I'll have some prints, too. Some of the monoprints I'll have there are pictured below.

I have been working on printing with glitter, and am excited to work this into woodcuts as well.

Charades

A few nights ago, I taught H how to play charades. I am on the side of loving charades- It seems its one of those things you either love or abhor- H loves it too.

After a bit, H was having trouble coming up with new things to charade (well, she had no trouble being a cat 1000 times, or a tree 1001 times, but I saw the desperate need for some new material) I suggested we each draw some ideas and put them in a bag, and pick out an action when it was our turn. I loved her drawings so much- here they are:

fly like a butterfly

look in the mirror

stir soup

draw a picture

Exploring new dimensions

My 3 dimensional self has been awakened. I have always been drawn to working 3 dimensionally, but its been a while since I indulged the urge.

I released the hounds this Halloween, making costumes for the girls- had a lot of fun.

in progress

Unicorn

Cat

I used to do a lot of costuming and set work- for friends, mostly. Some were successful, like the giant Dionysus puppet I made using found objects, (such as the crutches I had obtained earlier that month after spraining my ankle jumping off a wall after a run away cat- who I did catch, at least) for a production of The Bacchae. Some not as successful, like the giant rib cage made from fallen branches I built on stage for my friends senior thesis in dance- it collapsed during the performance, but she's such a master it looked intentional. Or the meat dress I made for the same friend that nearly made me a vegetarian.

Here are some small things, in varying stages of progress- none done yet:

Not sure where I'm going with this yet- but am enjoying the ride.

bad photos of new work

I never claimed to be a photographer, and should pester my photographer spouse to take pictures of my work before I post them up here in not their finest. Perhaps I will re post them, but anyway, here they are. 3 versions, one 3 color reduction, one 2 color reduction with silver leaf and one black and white. It was refreshing to work this small, these are 9x9- I usually work much bigger.

medium conundrum

I have a lot of print ideas up my sleeve- well, thats kind of a bluff, but I have some print ideas anyway- but what I really want to do right now is learn to crochet. Or go buy tools for needle felting. Which I also don't know how to do. Yet. And I plan to go to a bead festival on Saturday for still another of my obsessions. I'm not going to get into the whole what is art thing, it all is- but what I am trying to figure out, and what has become my eternal dilemma, is distinguishing between what is the beginning part of making work and what is procrastination. I know some of the work I like best comes from that calm playing around in the studio part. That is the part of creating that has been the hardest for me since I've become a parent. I can work my ass off pretty well, but just sitting allowing the thoughts to come? Thats hard.

I should mention I have a deadline, which tips the scale to this is procrastinating. Except it doesn't have to be a print. The work I need to finish, and um... start, is to be auctioned off to benefit inliquid, (which is, in their words, "a nonprofit membership organization dedicated to providing opportunities and exposure for visual artists and designers, serving as a free public hub for arts information and resources, and making the visual arts more accessible to a broader audience. More than just an online presence, InLiquid also nurtures our creative community through a continuing series of venue-based art exhibitions and events.") That blurb is all true, I am a big fan of inliquid.

Am I missing out on creating great work because I am stubbornly adhering to my medium? Or will I end up making thousands of macrame owls if left to one side of my mind? And would that be so bad? What I really want to do is to do it all. I need to loosen the reins a little- in art and in life. And now I'm thinking a macrame owl would make an awesome tag.

In the studio

It can be alarming to unleash the girls with paint in my studio when I'm working on things I don't want splatter painted, but it kind of worked this time. Then again, is there any situation a giant box can't make better?