Not bringing out the best in me

It will be a miracle if these cupcakes make it out of my house alive for their appointment at H's school tomorrow.

I don't know WHAT has come over me, but I am being such a dick about the cupcake decorating. I just want to hog the experience and try and figure out how to make leaves out of frosting at my own damn pace- but what thats translating into is some kind of resentful help allowing on my part. A lot of sighing. A lot of "Could you get your hair out of the cupcakes?" Total impatince for the 4 year (not five yet! I have 3 days!) sense of body and what it may be knocking over. Sigh, "WATCH your elbow! You need to be careful!" God I'm horrible! I can hardly stand to hear myself.

I begrudgingly let H dip some of the cupcakes, some of HER cupcakes, that she wanted to decorate, its her birthday, why am I being such a control freak? I can't stop thinking she's doing it wrong- but actually she's doing surprisingly well, and she's also doing a really good job of not getting frustrated with me being a total asshole.

Anyway, we got the base layer done (base layer! I know) and there is some discussing about color of flower petals. We were mixing frosting colors (I need to get in the studio. Really.) H and I debating the shade of violet, when S woke up from her nap. She saw 2 trays of yellow cupcakes on the table and of course wanted them, I said no, she freaked out, I went into the kitchen to clear a place to put the trays, and when I came to get the trays 2 seconds later, S was sitting on the table with a cupcake in her mouth.

The dogs are sniffing the air- hunting cupcakes. I bumped the tray with my elbow (watch my elbow! I need to be careful!) nearly dropping them all on the floor- certain death, but miraculously the tray didn't fall.

This is only the first leg of the cupcake relay- I'll do this again tomorrow for Saturday's birthday party cupcakes, you'd think I would appreciate the help.

Exactly what am I trying to prove?

*****
After the small people went to bed, I had a self indulgent cupcake decorating party all by myself. I long for my camera, but you'll get the gist from my crap ass phone camera.

cupcakes round 1

They did make it to H's school this morning, which was no small feat. S had to stay home with J, I couldn't have her in the same car as the cupcakes. I wish I were kidding.