Why does everyone want it at the same time? Attention, money, lunch... its been all or nothing around here for so long. I am loosing layers people, I can only be at so many places doing so many things at so many times. I don't mean to sound like a superhero, but like most mothers I know, I have a healthy pride in my ability to multi-task. Its getting to the 'stop the world I want to get off' place, where the tasks I'm multiplying are morphing into one task and making a task sandwich. Growing into multi-task skyscrapers. I am rapidly approaching complete loss of sky.
I just called a credit card company to transfer the balance from a different credit card company- was on hold for 20 minutes. I can conceivably wait that long, but try getting a word in around here after 20 minutes of me not paying full attention to everyone. And H isn't even here! 20 minutes is the limit. I have 2o minute intervals to get anything I need to get done. And thats on a good day.
After 20 minutes of holding and listening to muzak, a very soft spoken woman came on the phone to ask why I wanted to transfer balances and so on. S has figured out how to turn the volume down on all the phones, and I'm not all the way sure I won't disconnect the caller if I turn it up, so I couldn't hear anyway. (Actually, I DO know it won't disconnect the caller, but what if? I can't spare another 20 minutes on hold.) Once off hold, the dogs who were out, wanted to come in, separately of course. That was 2 loud poundings and barkings at the door in the middle of me trying to recite account numbers. Once in they (loudly) ran around and chewing each others heads in excitement that its snowy and cold out. S cried (loudly) 2 seconds into the call, I had put sesame street on to try and extend my 20 minute window of accomplishment. Cookie Monster is now added to the growing list of things that scare S. (also on the list, Swiper Fox, Thomas the Train, and anyone on Word Girl)
I did somehow manage to transfer the balance, but I'm not entirely sure how.
This is just a blip in the day- but things are mounding. I'm waiting to hear if my work has been accepted into a show that ordinarily I wouldn't care about, but my work ship is sinking, I need a fix of positivity. The taxes, the taxes, the taxes. The fact that the tax preparation is directly linked to the financial aid process for H's potential kindergarten. The fact that it is all out of my control. Things are just flying around where the current takes them, I am standing here pretending I have 8 arms and a giant butterfly net to bring things into balance. Pretending I'd know what to do with these things if I could catch them in the first place.
Fake it until you make it? I am the picture of calm. I have it all an arms length away. I only need 2 arms. I only need one tax form, I only need one kindergarten. Its not working.