My worlds are colliding. I registered for a critique (and conversation!) with a curator who I've been wanting to meet for some time. Turns out the date for this thing is on S's birthday. Where does this crazy guilt come from? I feel like I'm worshiping at the alter of my children sometimes. I can honestly say that the two most (equally!) important days of my life was when H and S were born. I am so very very thankful, but its a day. I have always been like this about birthdays- I don't know why. I know, as J says that S will be 2, and have no idea that I'm not there- its for 2 hours in the evening, she'll likely be going to bed, its a Wednesday so we won't be having a party that day- but I can't shake the feeling that I should be mediating on the birth of my child all day. Is that crazy? Yes.
More guilt. We're skipping H from school today to go to visit her grandmother. I'm sure this is not the way to instill the school values I expect, but so be it.
Whatever, all around. I'm done. I've guilted myself out. But it regenerates at the speed of light.
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